shame on me

i would gladly to thanx vinda 4 evrything she gave to me (materially or even not in material). todei she texts me, that she want to gave the lollipop as a val's gift. then i replied her,
"haha.. u dont hv 2 do dat. i've never gave u anything. shame on me.."
couple minutes later, she also replied, telling that evrything she did to me (also to other) not asking for return, cuz i deserved it.
hm... this is always bothering in my mind. not becuz i dont like it. just becoz i never did anything 2 her and others maybe.. i'm kinda typical 'do not care bout surroundings' person. means in a very good way though! its hard 4 me to explain this. as hard as i am as a person! but, it doesn't mean that i am very 'not aware of others'. NO, BIG NO NO.. it just hard 4 me to express the feelings. doesnt mean that i don't have something to give (well, maybe that's true? but i hope dont).
well, better not explain it more... cuz i also become dizzy to start explaining it. just one thing! i appreciate evry single thing that evryone gave to me (things, caring, loving, etc.), thanx, kumawo, arigato, gracias, terima kasih, merci... but i'm so sorry that i can't express it or don't have willing to try to giving u a bouquet of thanx (i'm still working on it!)... mianhe..

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